


and now you're carried in my heart instead of in my arms

by Quagswagging



Series: Quag's Pack Verse [14]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Aftermath, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Friendship, M/M, Miscarriage, Miscommunication, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: No matter how much Max loved Dan, the Alpha's reaction had stung, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.Why did Daniel always think the worst of him?
Relationships: Charles Leclerc & Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Nico Hulkenberg/Kevin Magnussen
Series: Quag's Pack Verse [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757020
Comments: 26
Kudos: 165





	and now you're carried in my heart instead of in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this was very much requested and I needed it too. It is still sad, but hopefully a little less so than the last fic. I wanted everything to be good again but this felt better.
> 
> Thank you for everyone who commented on the last fic, I'm very awed and happy it was received as well as it was.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Max sighed deeply as he stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom. It was late, probably the middle of the night, but still he could not sleep, no matter how much he wanted to. Daniel was snoring softly next to him, one arm thrown over Max's stomach to keep him close, but even with his Alpha pressed against him, Max did not feel comfortable. The Omega closed his eyes for a long moment, hand moving up to his belly as well. He stroked the taut skin, swallowing thickly as he remembered all that had happened.

He had lost his own baby, he had tried to steal another baby and all the while Daniel hadn't noticed how much pain Max had been in.

No matter how much Max loved Dan, the Alpha's reaction had stung, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. 

_Why did Daniel always think the worst of him?_

"Baby? You okay?" Daniel murmured sleepily, the Alpha's face pushing into Max's neck to press a kiss to the Mating Mark there. Max sighed.

"Yeah." He murmured. He hadn't been sleeping well since the whole ordeal with Ava and he knew Dan had noticed, but the Alpha seemed unsure what to do. 

They had always been easy together, had fit together like two puzzle pieces and had understood each other seamlessly. But that ease was missing now, and Max felt as if Daniel was halfway across the world even when they slept next to each other. 

"Maxy?" Daniel tried again, tugging on the Omega's waist until the Dutchman rolled over to face him. The Alpha looked tired, dark bags under his eyes and Max knew the Alpha worried too.

They just hadn't talked about it yet. 

"I'm okay. I just can't sleep." Max murmured, placing a hand on Dan's cheek and stroking his soft skin. Daniel pushed into the touch, rumbling softly. He had been trying so hard, to talk to Max and to get things back to normal but Max didn't know what their normal was anymore. 

He still leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Dan's lips and lightly nuzzling their noses together.

"I'm getting some water. I'll be right back." He promised, before slipping out from under the covers and padding out of the room without a look back, pretending he didn't notice Dan's smell souring lightly.

It was quiet in the Main Pack Room, everyone in their own private rooms and Max was grateful.

He didn't want to see anyone now.

He stood in the little kitchen, a glass of water in front of him on the counter, and closed his eyes, his hand unconsciously curling over his belly again. 

He had lost so much, he couldn't lose more. 

"Max?" A sleepy voice sounded. Max opened his eyes again and saw Charles walking out of the bedroom he shared with Alex. Max offered him a tiny smile and grabbed a second glass, filling it with water too. Charles came to stand next to him, their shoulders pressed together and Max felt comforted.

"I couldn't sleep." Charles murmured, looking up at Max. Max sighed.

"Me neither." He answered. If possible, Charles looked even more tired than Max did, his stubble thicker than usual and his hair even more unkept. Max reached out to place a hand over Charles's, squeezing his palm and Charles smiled tiredly. 

"I'm fine." He said, as if he could read Max's mind. They still pretended like they weren't close, but there was no denying they were at least _closer_ now. Max trusted Charles with all he had and he knew Charles cared so much about him in return.

Max sometimes wondered what would have happened had Charles not been there for him, but that was such a bleak thought he was better off ignoring it.

Still, it hurt Max to see Charles like this, it hurt to see him so affected after he had helped Max so much. 

"Are you-" Max started, but then trailed off. Asking if Charles was okay when he was clearly not felt so stupid. 

"I worry." Charles murmured honestly, picking on a loose thread on his hoodie. "About you, and Dan." He added, peeking up at Max through his lashes. Max frowned.

"Why?" He murmured. Charles sighed, shaking his head.

"Dan wasn't there for you. He just left you to suffer on your own and after what I saw- I can't forgive him for that." He whispered.

"People make mistakes." Max murmured. Charles shook his head.

"Not like this." He answered firmly, his posture straightening up as if he was expecting Max to fight him.

"You're right." Max whispered, voice breaking. "But I cannot lose him too." He tried to explain, hands trembling on the counter. Charles cooed softly, reaching for Max and hugging him tightly.

"I'm not saying you need to break up with him. He's your Mate and it will all be fine. Just… you need to talk to him about this all, so you can built up trust again." Charles whispered, hand gently stroking the back of Max's head while the Omega cried silently.

"I-I don't want to talk about it, it hurts too much." Max whispered, pushing his face in the crook of Charles's neck. Charles sniffled too now, kissing Max's temple.

"Please." He whispered. "You two are amazing together, don't lose what you have." Charles murmured. Max pulled away.

"But why should I stay with someone who always thinks the worst of me?" He blurted out, and Charles's eyes widened.

"You're breaking up with him?" He asked in a small voice. Max lowered his eyes.

"I just don't know anymore." He answered, seeming defeated. "I should go back, Dan was still awake too." Max added, gently pushing Charles's hands off of him. Charles whimpered.

"Max…" Charles whined, but Max shook his head.

"Go to sleep Charles, I'll be fine." He promised, before walking back to his room and closing the door behind him.

Daniel was still awake, pushed up on one of his elbows and holding out his other arm in Max's direction. There was something sad hidden away in his expression and Max hoped Daniel hadn't overheard his conversation with Charles. Max laid down next to his Alpha, gently nosing Dan's jaw in greeting before tucking his head in under Daniel's chin. Daniel held him tightly, rumbling softly and scenting the top of his head.

"You know I love you right?" Daniel whispered.

Max didn't answer and pretended to be asleep.

~~~~~~

"Max, do you want to hold Ava?" Kevin asked gently as the younger Omega sat on the floor near the wall, as far away from Nico and Kevin as he could without losing sight of the little baby. 

"I…" Max started, eying Nico in distrust as the Alpha stared at him as well, little Ava laying fast asleep against his chest.

"It's okay." Kevin smiled softly, giving Nico a stern look. The Alpha sighed and nodded, giving Max a slightly uneasy smile. Max got up from the floor and headed over, sitting down on the sofa next to Nico. The Alpha handed him the tiny pup, who fussed lightly but then settled down again as Max cradled her close. 

Max cooed softly, rocking the baby lightly as he smiled down on her. He felt Kevin sit down on his other side, the Omega reaching out to gently stroke Ava's cheek. Max turned to look at him and Kevin smiled softly, kissing Max's forehead.

"You're doing really well." Kevin smiled and Max cooed softly.

"Thank you." He rasped hoarsely, leaning in to gently brush his nose over Ava's tiny forehead. 

"Max?" Daniel spoke up softly, the Alpha walking over with Lando in tow, the two McLaren drivers cooing softly at the sight of Max with the little baby. Max smiled, looking up at Dan with a giddy look on his face.

"She's so sweet." Max murmured, cooing softly as he looked down on the baby. Daniel smiled at Kevin and Nico before kneeling down on the floor in front of Max, placing his hand on Max's knee.

"Yes she is." Dan said, rumbling softly at his Mate. Max looked at Danfor a long moment, and then sighed deeply. His smile fell a little, remembering the pup they had lost themselves. Daniel sighed too, stroking Max's cheek.

"I know." He whispered simply, and Max knew there was nothing more to say. Max offered him a melancholic smile, before turning to the couple sitting with them

"Can Dan hold Ava?" Max asked Kevin and Nico shyly, not even daring to look them in the eye. Ever since he had thought he had been pregnant, he had so desperately wanted to see Dan holding their pup- had wanted to see the Alpha keeping their bundle of joy safe like he had always done with Max.

But the pup now seemed like a faraway dream and that hurt like nothing else had before. 

Still, Max hoped seeing Dan with Ava would somewhat satisfy his instincts, hoped that seeing Dan with a baby would make him want to try again, even if he was so fucking terrified of ruining everything again.

Nico hesitated, tensing up at Max's question. Max knew it wasn't easy for an Alpha to let another Alpha hold his pup, as the Alpha's scent would linger, but he really needed this, he so hoped Nico would understand that.

"Please Nico." Max whispered, baring his neck for the Alpha and whining submissiveness. Nico sighed, still seeming unsure, but then gestured Kevin over to sit on his lap and nodded.

"Okay." He said, pressing his face in Kevin's neck as the Omega gently stroked his Mate's arms in comfort. Daniel sat down on the free spot next to Max, holding out his arms and carefully lifting the pup up, holding her securely against his chest. 

He looked amazing with a pup - everything about it so natural it just seemed meant to be.

Max cooed softly, smiling shakily at Daniel and the Alpha sighed.

"Amazing." Daniel just murmured, smiling down on the pup's sleeping face. Max sniffled, dropping his head onto Dan's shoulder as they both gazed down on the little one.

"One day." Max whispered against the skin of Dan's neck. Daniel turned his head to kiss him.

"One day." He agreed. Ava started to fuss, tiny hands moving about as she whined and Kevin instantly moved close, letting Daniel put Ava back in his arms.

"She needs to be fed, sorry." Kevin whispered, smiling gently before taking Ava into his bedroom, Nico following after him to protect his Mate during the vulnerable moment.

Daniel turned to Max, placing a hand on his cheek to tilt the Dutchman's head up towards him. Max had tears in his eyes and he tried to pull away, but Daniel didn't let him.

"Maxy, I…" Daniel started, but Max shook his head. 

"I can't." Max whispered, stumbling onto his feet. Daniel moved up too, reaching for him, but Max slapped his hands away.

"Please Dan." Max begged. Daniel shook his head, reaching for him once more.

"Talk to me, please." He whispered, touching Max's arm but Max flinched away.

"Please…" Max begged once more. He couldn't have this conversation now, not when he could still smell Ava, smell the milky scent of a pup lingering on his skin. 

Daniel had pushed him away when he had lost his pup, Daniel had gotten angry at him when Max was grieving.

_Daniel had deserted him when Max needed him most._

"Max." Daniel tried desperately. Max shook his head.

"I… I can't trust you. You hurt me." He whispered. Daniel shook his head.

"I didn't mean to, baby please just _talk_ to me." He asked, but Max pushed past him, running out of the Pack Room and into the cold, rainy weather. 

He hid between two motorhomes, shivering in his thin shirt that was not nearly warm enough. He knew he was likely to catch a cold but he didn't care, being outside in the rain meant Daniel would struggle following his scent, and Max didn't want Dan to find him right now.

"Max?" A soft voice spoke up to his right. Max only sobbed in relief when Charles wiggled into the narrow space too, pushing a hoodie around Max's shoulders, before hugging him tightly. 

_Max could always count on Charles._

"I can't lose him but whenever he is near me all I remember is… is how angry he was." Max sobbed. Charles sighed, nosing Max's temple. 

"Chéri… he loves you." Charles whispered. Max shook his head.

"He thought the worst of me." He whispered, whining softly. Charles pressed him closer, not liking the way he shivered. 

"Max, people make mistakes. Dan loves you, and he wants to make it up to you." Charles whispered. Max sighed dejectedly.

_"How can he make it up to me when he wasn't there when I needed him most?"_

"Maxy." Another voice spoke up, and Max whimpered when he recognised it as Daniel's. There was no way Dan could have found him on his own, Max had been so sure that the rain would stop him. Only Omegas nearing their Heat were sensitive enough to-

_oh._

"Charles…" Max whined. Charles sighed, trying to nose his Max's temple but Max pulled away.

"I told you-" Max started, feeling betrayed. Charles sniffled. 

"You need to talk to him. You two have the strongest Mating bond I've ever seen, don't let it go to waste." Charles begged. Max shook his head, tucking his knees up to his chest and pressing his forehead down on his legs.

"Just go away. Both of you." He whispered hoarsely, shuddering as a cold stream of rain water ran down his back. He heard Charles get up, the Omega nosing his head lightly before moving a way, a heavy sad scent following him. 

But Daniel didn't go away so easily. 

"Dan, no… please…" Max sobbed as he felt Daniel sit down next to him. The Alpha was relentless, wrapping an arm around Max's shoulders to pull him into his side - to shield him form the rain.

"How I reacted was wrong." Daniel started, while Max continue to shake his head, trying to block out the Alpha's words. Daniel curled around him, nose pressed to the tender skin behind Max's ear as he rumbled softly, trying to get Max's heavy scent to lighten. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I should have known, I should have at least _asked_ what was wrong and I chose to get angry. I understand if you want me to keep distance for a while, I will do that if you want. But don't break up with me, please don't break our bond." The Alpha added with a strained voice. His breathing was ragged and he seemed terrified- it was so unlike the strong, calm Alpha Max usually saw in his Mate.

"I don't want you to stay away. But it also hurts to see you." Max whispered, turning his head to push his face into Dan's neck, breathing in the Alpha's familiar smell. Daniel's body was warm and Max was glad, feeling as if he was started warm up again from the inside out. 

"I'm so fucking sorry." Daniel whispered hoarsely. "I'm such a fool… I can't lose you Max, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." Max let out a sharp breath. He had always known Dan was _his_ best thing, but he hadn't expected he was Dan's as well. 

"Dan…" Max sighed, rolling over onto his knees and then crawling onto Daniel's lap. Daniel easily wrapped his arms around his waist, holding him close as Max rested their foreheads together. Daniel let out a strangled sound.

"Please Max, I'll do better, I promise. Don't leave me. I need you. I need my beautiful Mate,my _Maxy_ …" Daniel rambled. Max just sighed, pressing his hands to Daniel's cheeks and tugging him into a soft kiss. Daniel kissed back instantly, arms tightly curling around Max and everything almost felt normal again.

Almost.

"I love you, I love you." Daniel whispered over and over again, desperately kissing Max's lips before trailing his lips down Max's jaw and down to the Mark in Dan's neck. Max gently pulled away, brushing his thumbs over Dan's cheekbones to brush away his tears.

"I know." He soothed with a small smile. "And I love you too." He added, hugging his Mate, his amazing Mate, close.

"But Max, I-" Dan protested. Max sighed, fingers curling into Dan's curls.

"People make mistakes. We both made mistakes." Max murmured. "I can't forget, but I can forgive you." He whispered. Daniel let out a strangled little sound and nodded.

"I'd like that very much."

"Max? Daniel?" The two Mates lifted their heads, seeing Kimi and Sebastian, as well as Lando and Charles, waiting for them at the end of the narrow alley. Daniel glanced at Max, and only got up when Max nodded. The alley was too narrow to walk next to each other but they still held hands, Dan walking in front of Max to greet their Pack first. Kimi nodded at him, his worried frown slowly easing away when he saw both men were smiling lightly. 

They ducked back into the Pack Room, standing in the narrow entrance hall while they all got dried off. Charles wrapped Max in a blanket but ignored Dan's existence, leaving the Alpha to fetch his blanket himself. Max sighed and nosed his friend's cheek. 

"Charles…" he hummed amusedly, while Charles pretended stubbornly like he hadn't heard the Dutchman. Daniel noticed too and gently placed a hand on Charles's shoulder, rumbling soothingly when Charles snarled. 

"I owe you an apology too. And I should thank you. You were there for Max when I wasn't, and I'm so grateful for it." Daniel said softly. "You were just what he needed and you kept him safe." He added. Daniel hesitated briefly, but then bared his throat for Charles, whose eyes went wide. 

"I-I…" he stuttered. Max gently nosed Charles's cheek.

"You are my guardian angel." He murmured softly, cooing as Charles's eyes filled with tears. "You did well, perfect in fact." He added. Charles seemed overwhelmed with the praise and shyly wiggled out from in between them, moving over to Seb and pressing his face in the German's neck like a pup hiding with their parent would. 

"Are you okay now?" Lando asked the couple quietly, while scooting in under Kimi's arm as the Alpha stiffly patted his hair a little. Max sighed, pushing into Daniel's side and looking up into the Alpha's eyes. 

"Not okay yet." He said honestly, and Dan nodded.

"But better, right?" He asked softly, fingers softly running over Max's face. Max sighed, and then smiled at his Alpha.

"Yes, better."

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know what you thought and what you'd like to read next! Let me know in the comments here or on tumblr; @bwoahtastic


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